you are already very good at thinking

I feel you there, sitting, wondering what to do next. What is the next right step? All of those questions swirl in your head like there is nothing else. Like all of the world depends on what you do next and if you do the wrong thing the sky is going to come crashing down literally on your head.

Part of you says, what a relief that it’s over. That other voice chimes in but I’m not ready for it to end. I quite like being here and it’s really not so bad and can all of those voices just stop. Just please stop.

Let the soul in. Let the soul speak. Let it out of it’s cage to play. You are already very good at thinking. Let’s try something else like walking or talking or pacing or anything that isn’t being stuck in your head.

Because it’s debilitating, this limitedness. And it’s inaccurate and we’re not getting any younger and we’re just getting started and it’s time to stand up for yourself and each other and be who it is you know you can be.

There is nothing more important than this. Be your best self, put one foot in front of the other. Breathe. And breathe deep. And breathe again and know what it is to feel peace. Peace in who and what you are and that everything is coming together if you just don’t think.

Write..

• It’s how I communicate with my soul
• It’s spiritual practice
• It’s how I see myself, and my habits. It’s how I look at the framework of my behavior and assess the gap between who I am and who I want to be.
• It’s how I step outside myself. It’s how I step into myself.
• It’s how I bear witness.

Grace & the Hot Air Balloon

You are seen. You are known. You are heard. I see you. I feel you. You matter. There is life after disaster. If you’ve made it here, then you’re home.

I know what it’s like to live inside your shadow-side for months and months at a time. I know what it’s like to feel shame. I know what it means when a heart hurts. I know what it means to cry. I know what it feels like when you don’t know why.

Here you get to start over and you get to begin. This is the place where it all sinks in. Together. We’re in this together.

Grace is good weather on a hot air balloon day. It’s red, the basket is big enough. Climb in. Real shit, not stark black and white. All that color and a whole sky to fly in.

My Dream for You

I dream that you’ll know peace. I dream that you’ll learn to believe in the rhythm of your own heart. That doubt will slip away as quickly as it comes and you’ll sit in your center. I dream that you’ll meet love and you’ll be ready when it comes. I dream that your finances will be spectacular. That you’ll wake in the morning ready for the world rather than anticipating disaster. I dream that you’ll know the ease of being. I dream that you’ll know movement of your body as something sweet, that you’ll know your own skin as home. Not just comfortable, but thriving, not settling for the mundane. I dream that you’ll see magic in everything you do, that you’ll feel brand new and know that you are just getting started, no matter how old you are. I dream you’ll have everything you’ve ever wanted and know that deserving does not require lessons. I dream that life will be enough for you and you will rise to the occasion, yelling loudly: challenge accepted. I dream that you will heal from all the pain and the mistakes and the self-criticism. I dream you will know deep belly laughter and the wisdom of your ancestors. I dream that you will adventure and grow wings so big no cage can hold you. I dream that you will bare your soul to others so that they may see you with eyes and hearts. I dream that sex will be a welcome act of love. I dream that you will know what it’s like to not feel like you have to dye your hair or paint your face with makeup, that you would do these things for fun not because you think you’re prettier this way. You’re pretty as you are, it goes without saying. I dream that you will know and love the peace of sleep and wake, ready, when the time comes.  

Prayer for the Mountain, Prayer for the Hike

I want to say Thank You. The way

You made it clear which way to go.

You rose up to support my steps

and gave your vastness to my breath.

Here, I know what it means to know.

I do not have to rest or hide in costume

or worry or hurry. Here, it is okay

for me to forget. I give it all to you,

the mountain, whose loneliness

must be greater than my own.

But you, you who knows the whole sky

as home, let me in without question.  

Sitting In Traffic

The intersection is square. The lights blink green, yellow, red. Stop, don’t go. Wait. Be patient. Let the rise and fall of your chest rest into rhythm. Wrap your fingers around the wheel, but be still. Listen. Hear the hum of rolling down the window. Breeze. Arizona heat. City desert. Just me. 

Being a Mom

It’s like growing a new finger. The most perfect of all your 20 digits. The way this one looks and moves is such a wonder. It’s thick, smooth and a little bit blue at the tip. It sits between the middle and ring fingers, on the left hand where it can touch everything. Every experience is new. Even the things you’ve been doing a whole lifetime: cutting fruit, writing, holding hands. You have to learn a new meaning to one hand washes the other. This one digit changes all the others. It makes room where there isn’t and when you bring your hands to your heart in prayer…it feels different. More real, more grounding as if you’ve only just gotten here. When you beat the drum of your life, it’s a new rhythm. One you don’t recognize. Even after years of seeing it there, you understand it as pure magic.